Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
