walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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