Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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