Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I want to fling myself into the sun
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
