jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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