GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
