I hope mine doesn't look like that
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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