I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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