You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
