he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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