Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The beer is more important than you right now.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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