pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
