i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Shame - the story of my life.
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