Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
