Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
