I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
