fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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