i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
