At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
