last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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