question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
