The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
