Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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