he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
