He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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