whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize