I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
