direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
