that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
