After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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