i just wanna soil my oats bro
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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