Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
