Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
