But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
