This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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