I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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