So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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