Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
