Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
