she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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