My liver just broke up with me...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
