so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
