Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Is it penis luge time yet?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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