wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
