if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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