the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
