Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
