She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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