Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
