please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
